POTSDAM, NY – A preliminary study conducted by the Department of Sociology found that Tuesday’s Study Abroad Fair “showed high levels of efficacy in several key areas.” The event, which featured study abroad coordinators from a variety of other SUNY schools, reportedly produced feelings of terror and self-loathing, which resulted in avoidance behaviors from a large percentage of the student body.
“The Study Abroad Fair further cemented my plans to not study abroad. The way the [visitors] harassed me while I was trying to go to class and forced me to take promotional materials was really dissuasive,”
Commented a senior computer science student. “I kept trying to tell them I’m graduating, but they kept shoving pamphlets in my face.”
Other students reported feeling “jarred” by the for-profit study abroad corporations. “I don’t know, I guess it just seems kind of weird that you can pay for the chance to do an internship? On top of the fact that a lot of internships are unpaid, and you have to fund [housing] and travel, it’s difficult,” said a junior community health major.
In addition, the study abroad professionals successfully convinced many undergraduates to avoid the Barrington Student Union for several hours. Some students reportedly went so far as to skip lunch for fear of being confronted by any number of the beady-eyed coordinators eating chicken bowls in the corner of the dining court.
All in all, the Department of Sociology concluded, the Study Abroad Fair did an outstanding job of making students feel terrible about themselves for not being able to complete an overseas experience. “The ratings in the areas of ‘feelings of fear’ and ‘feelings of inadequacy’ were off the charts,” mused one of the study’s principal investigators. “In the end, I think that’s what really matters here.”