“It’s a good idea,” said Mayor Ron Tischler. “The nearest nudie joint is at least an hour away in Cornwall, 2 hours to get to the decent ones in Ottawa or Montreal. If you don’t have a passport, you’re looking at a 3 hour drive to Syracuse or a 4 hour drive to Albany to get a lap dance. This proposal will fill a longstanding opening in the regional economy and I look forward to reviewing it.”
“McDuffs had some poles in their basement, but the new owners removed them. Ever since the colleges liquidated most of the fraternities, there have been no establishments in the immediate area providing these services.”
“I serve enough booze in this town to drown both college hockey teams,” he boasted. “My proposal will be a so-called ‘juice bar,’ which removes the significant expenses involved with securing a liquor license. It will also permit me to set the age of entry to 18, which expands the customer base significantly.”
The hearing is scheduled for February 21 at the Potsdam Civic Center.