Real Time

Bill sits at his desk calmly, but also very excited. The music comes on and the crowd begins to become hyped up. The music is recognizable to all from the get go, as they have seen previous episodes with the same tune. They stand up in flocks and shout: “da da da da da nu nu da da da”, a theme song that could’ve been taken from the movie Jaws. “Hello! It is Real Time with Bill Maher!” Bill shouts as the crowd jumps up and down. “Hello! It is Bill Maher! I am a democrat! Cheer me on!” Bill … Continue reading Real Time

A Student Voice

The semester is drawing to a close and tensions are high. Student Health recommends self inflicted intercourse as a method of stress relief. A statement from a campus physician who’s name rhymes with caribou states,” Yes you can have birth control, but stop being a slut before you get cancer. College is for learning, not sodomy!” The Crane Middle School Of Music, notorious for excessive stress and ego, is just one location where the semester takes a toll on its students. CSA (Crane Student Association) had to take a break from begging SGA for money in order to discuss the … Continue reading A Student Voice